Activism to relieve frustration

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
~Mohandas Gandhi

Though we are still being ignored and laughed at quite a bit, we are starting to encounter some fights over fat rights – especially from those who make their money trying to eradicate us. I am at a busy time in my life, so I am not getting to be as active fighting fat hate as I usually am. So, lately, I have found myself very, very frustrated at all the fat hating talk out there, especially from the experts who so badly want to force us back into the shadows. I find myself being eaten with anger and frustration from the inside. I cannot live there today.

Somewhere along the line, I was taught that, to be less upset about a subject, do something – anything – about it and you will feel better. In a way, fat activism has become a necessary part of my life. To keep from imploding or exploding at the myriad ways fat people are told they are less than, I have to do something every day. And it helps even more if I am getting a little positive feedback for that activism. That is one of the reasons I write for the Fatosphere: because I know that I just might help someone who wants it desperately, who wants to understand this. I want to pass on the gift I have been given.

Marilynn Wann is an AMAZING woman and, I wish I lived in San Francisco to take part in the incredible fat positive stunts she sets up (see Not Blue At All for the latest incredible Feat of Fat Love). But I am not in that city, and I am not in the place to generate such activism. Yet, I do not have to do such incredible things to help this cause. Every time I refuse to hate myself in a public setting, every time I speak up against fat hatred, every time I tell a fat friend that their body is beautiful, I help spread the message of self-love.

I have to remember that remarkable ideas, ideas with truth, spread. They may spread slowly, but they spread. Loving ourselves no matter our size is a remarkable, revolutionary idea that will spread with time. Slowly but surely, our voices will grow to where they can no longer ignore or laugh at us. Slowly, but surely, if we stay with this, we will win. It may be a long way down the road, but WE WILL WIN.

If you find yourself frustrated today, take a deep breath, come to the Fatosphere for reassurance, and keep fighting the good fight – even if the fight is only within yourself. We can do this – if it is only one fat person at a time – we can do this.

Pleasure and joy

I'm not posting a lot right now because of some things going on in my life. However, I'll try to keep posting at least once a week even in the midst of the craziness.

A post by Zaftig Zeitgeist, Abstinence does not work, got me thinking about an old post uploaded before most of you were around. So, here is a reblog of my post "Practicing Joy" with references to the holidays taken out:

Think of how much time we WASTE on dieting and body hating. We are this incredibly blessed nation; we are one of the few that have too much. So, we assuage our guilt by not allowing ourselves to enjoy any of it. What if we decided to be grateful for the girth god gave us and concentrate our energies on service, love, and imagination instead? What if we quit hating our bodies and choose to create instead? How many problems could we solve with the $58 billion spent on trying to be thin every year? Where would we be able to go? What would we be able to do? We could change the world.

Many of us have allowed the fear of fat to suck the joy out of our lives. We no longer enjoyed food, instead wallowing in the guilt of being “bad” if we eat a carrot because it has so much starch in it – only feeling virtuous if the food we eat is so laden with fat-reducing and sugar-reducing chemicals to where it tastes like a sewage treatment plant at worst and nothing at best. We have allowed this fear to take the joy out of our bodies: keeping us from enjoying movement, from loving our own rolls and lumps, from enjoying sex with our partners.

What would happen if we took back those joys? Imagine enjoying every bite of every bit of food you put in your mouth. Those “forbidden” items that your body and soul so craves, gobbling them down quickly and in large quantity so that no one would know you were being “bad.” Instead, try delighting in each mouthful, each bite. You may find that you eat less; you may not. You will find your life sweeter.

Imagine enjoying the feel of your body. If you crave sex, imagine enjoying it by yourself or with your partner. If you want to dance, dance. If you want to sleep, sleep. Imagine allowing your physical needs to get met.

Now, many people believe that, if we allow ourselves to enjoy life, we will become hedonistic. I was hedonistic at one point in my life: selfishly taking everything I wanted. Trust me, it doesn’t feel good emotionally or physically, and most especially, not spiritually. Enjoyment is not hedonism -- it's simply appreciating the many gifts God gives us.

Do we really think that God wants us to feel deprived all the time? As a recovering alcoholic, I seldom feel deprived of alcohol, usually only when I am in a bad place to start with. I don’t believe in a god that desires an ascetic lifestyle; I believe in a god that wants me to be unbelievably happy. So, I am going to enjoy. I’m going to enjoy my body, and I’m going to enjoy my food. I hope that you will do the same.