The Metaphysics of Fat Hatred and Fat Acceptance

I believe that my words have power in my life; I believe in self-fulfilling prophecy. Think about what this idea means in terms of fat hatred and fat acceptance. When our society is running around saying, “we’re too fat!” we continue to get bigger (slightly, but we are – mostly thanks to dieting). When our society is running around saying, “fat people are going to die!” they do. Granted, it’s from trying to get thin (eating disorders, bariatric surgery, etc.) or medical prejudice, but more fat people will die because society has this belief.

Every time I hear a friend say, “I need to lose weight,” or “I’m too big,” my heart hurts a little, because I know they are making that true. It doesn’t mean they are making themselves fatter, though, through dieting and the disordered eating it creates, they might be doing just that. What they are really saying is, “my body is unacceptable as it is.” And when I said things like that in the past, I found myself in situations where that was true: with a husband who thought I was too fat at 140 lbs and anorexic (I’m almost 5’9”), around people who criticized my body size, being convinced that losing weight is the only way to improve a health problem (when better alternatives are available, but I could not see them because I thought I was too fat).

Now, I remember trying to affirm myself to a size that would be accepted by society. I used affirmations like, “I’m thin” and “I wear size 8.” Those affirmations never worked. Maybe, because I did not place force behind the words. Maybe, because it wasn’t thinner that I really wanted. What I really wanted was to be loved, to be known, to be respected, to be liked, to feel good about myself – things like that. So, I was sending the Universe mixed messages. I was saying, “make me thin” while I was feeling, “make me acceptable and worthy.”

When using affirmations, it is important that I affirm what it is I truly want. For instance, do I want money or do I want the things I think money will bring me? Do I really want that new vehicle, or do I want the respect and admiration of others? Do I want that degree, or do I want the opportunity to teach? Sometimes, seeing what I really want makes me rethink my desires. For instance, seeking the approval of others is usually a disaster for me. When I focus on what I really want, I put the force of desire behind the words, making them much more affective.

Today, I try to be very careful what I say about my body. I say, “I love my body as it is” and find that most days, I do. I say, “I’m the perfect size for me today,” and find that I am comfortable in my body. I say, “I am lovable and desirable as I am.” Not only do I feel that today – often feeling sexy or beautiful all on my own, but I have a man in my life who treats me like I am sexy and desirable.

Affirmations do not always work quickly, especially when we are trying to undo something we’ve said for decades. However, I have found them to be an invaluable tool in my journey towards self and fat acceptance.