Step 3

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

Previous discussions on Step 1 and Step 2

The important part of Step 3 is the decision. This isn’t a decision to trust God fully. This isn’t a decision to believe what you have been told about God. This is simply a decision to explore, to attempt, to make a conscious effort in believing that there might be something bigger out there. We often express this willingness by saying the Third Step Prayer:

God, I offer myself to you to build with me and to do with me as you will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of your Power, your Love, and your Way of life. May I do your will always!

In my experience, Step 3 is where the issues with God really show up. If God is unloving or nonexistent, how can I turn my life over? So, to work Step 3 a person has to find a way to see a God that can be trusted. I encourage any sponsees who struggle with this to explore their idea of God. If we see God as a father and had an abusive father, how on earth can we trust such a God?

My belief on the concept of a Higher Power: I have trouble conceiving the size of the solar system, let alone a universe filled with billions of galaxies filled with billions of solar systems. How am I going to comprehend something that just might be bigger than that? That being the case, we are trying to understand the un-understandable. So, how can belief be anything but personal? However a person conceives of a HP, if it works for them, great.

I don’t turn my will and my life over to my HP because I want to be GOOD. Being a good girl has never worked for me--that's a great way to bring out my rebel. I turn my will and my life over because I like the results. I feel better about me. My life tends to work better. I tend to enjoy life more.

Finally, let’s look at Step 3 in terms of body acceptance. I had to turn my body and my attitudes about my body over to my HP. I can do that by changing the wording of the prayer: "I offer my (body, attitudes towards my body, feelings about my body, etc.) to you." I practice trusting and having faith that my body has a purpose.

The key to Step 3 is willingness. Even the littlest bit of willingness to believe that there might be something out there with more power than me is enough to succeed at this Step.

Here is one way to work Step 3:

Meditation: Imagine you are a child. Where are you? What are you doing? What are you feeling? Try to be a little child again. Try to be in that place. Immediately go into the following writing exercise:

1. Finish the statement “God is…”
2. Write down the characteristics of your Higher Power as you want God to be. What do you need in a Higher Power? What are the ideal characteristics of your Higher Power?
3. Compare the two. Looking at this comparison, how might you need to change your view of a HP in order to trust that Power?
4. Say the Third Step Prayer every day for at least two weeks (longer if you can)